In the words of Frazer from Dad's Army, 'We're doomed.' We're enveloped by climate change at the moment. The ice caps will melt, the seas are going to rise, species will become extinct and it won't be long before you'll be able to fry a pound of sausages on the bonnet of your car ... in December!

Have no fear. The global population is aware of this monumental problem and possibly the last generation to do anything will no doubt get it right.

Time for the National Television Awards and the catogory of 'Most Popular Factual programme.' Far be it for David Attenborough’s Planet Earth to win when everyone knows we just want the facts on the latest top of the range sports cars with least possible MPG possible.

I'm doing my own bit for the enviroment today. I've built up a collection of pre-paid return envelopes - you know, the ones you get in junk mail - put in one of my own with compliments slips with the message 'Thanks for sending me your stuff, visit author Lee Crompton at www.leecrompton.com to find out more about his stuff,' and then sent them there envelopes back to wence they then came from!

I call it recycling! I especially like using my rubber stamp, so that all the postmen know the web address too.