This, ladies and gentlemen, is Fiona Smith ... yes, the Fiona Smith.

Doesn't ring any bells? Well listen here. I'm about to give you the heads up because the aforementioned Fiona is the Editor of Shortbread Stories, a website specifically designed to be a showcase for writers, making their short stories available to a worldwide audience. What's more they're aiming to be the largest website of their kind ... in the world ... ever!

So whether you fancy a read or would like to upload your short stories to the website, why not take a look and see what you've been missing before Shortbread Stories explodes across the globe like some literary custard that's been left in the microwave too long and you turn into one of those sad losers who jumps on the passing band wagon, trying to barge your way to the microwave in the back of the wagon to try and lick up some of ... the, errm, custard. Oh, forget it. Just take a look at the damn site.

I was kindly invited along to the Literary Salon at Dundee Contemporary Arts Centre on Thursday evening to sit on a publishing panel. All went very well and I met some very interesting people, including Kirsty Lee.

Far be it for me to "big-up" other authors but credit where credit is due. Kirsty is attempting to write a short story a day for (wait for it) 12 whole months.

Lovely woman, totally mad project ... a combination which urges me to ask you (are you still there?) to check out Kirsty's work and support her accordingly before she is forced to slip into unflatterng white overalls and confined to a padded cell for the rest of her days.

The link to Kirsty's site, funnily enough, is in my list of "links". Check it out.

Minor rant, but does everyone know what a courgette looks like?

If you do I wouldn't suggest you apply for a job at the Co-op supermarket, at least not at my local store, where it would appear a prerequisite of being awarded the job is that you display a very limited knowledge of common vegetables.

Now, speaking as man who used to work at a supermarket in his student days, I am all too aware that larger supermarkets sometimes stock some unusual vegetables which are difficult to recognise. Two things ... firstly there is nothing in my local Co-op more exotic than a banana (I fully appreciate this isn't a vegetable but you get the idea) and secondly, is a courgette really too difficult to recognise? I can appreciate that a yam might be difficult to distinguish from a sweet potato. My particular failing was more within the fruit kingdom, Kumquats, pomegranates and greengages but we were tested on these by our supervisors so that we wouldn't need to stare blankly at customers with our mouths wide open whilst holding their plums (sorry, couldn't resist).

Anyway, we meandered our way through the remaining contents of my shopping basket ... Red Bull, milk, we even managed to stumble our way through the carrots and broccoli, but then the blank expression descended over Jamie's (I read the name badge) face once more. He looked at me, held up the last remaining bag of vegetables and cocked his head to one side. In my head I was screaming, "For God's sakes, it's a couple of f**king parsnips, Jamie," but I smiled and informed him in a much more polite manner.

I have nothing to say in Jamie's defense. The bag was clear, the parsnips not discoloured or misshapen in any way that might suggest that they were anything else other than ... f**king parsnips.

I'm afraid this entry isn't going anywhere, other than to ask, does anybody else not know what a parsnip (or a courgette) looks like? I'm going now as I appreciate I'm beginning to sound rather pompous.