I've entered 2 short film scripts for the Bongo Reef "Losing the Plot" (www.bongoreefpictures.co.uk) project. The parameters were they could be no longer than 3 mins, had to be based on an allotment, and had to be dialogue driven. This goes against everything we've been taught at uni (show, don't tell ... dialogue is one of the 2 main evils in cinema, the other being flashbacks) but not really having a clue what I'm doing anyway, I decided to give it a go.

Seeing as I like Tarantino films (dialogue) and one of my favourite films is Usual Suspects (flashbacks) I'm not really sure I'm cut out for this scriptwriting lark. If film scripts weren't confusing enough, we've now moved onto TV scripts at uni which have a completely different format again. The script should be "action not movement" and "The trick of turning movement into action is to make it active and tie it into character." All very well, but I've not got a clue what all these things mean. Going back to the books, I haven't sold a single one in weeks. Full time writing isn't working out. I'm becoming quite disillusioned if the truth be told. Maybe I should just stick with surveying.

Gemma says that I should write because I enjoy writing and I've now shifted a million miles from where I started and have completely different aspirations. I disagree. Yes it would be nice to have the trimmings that come with being a successful author/screenwriter but my goal hasn't changed from doing things that people enjoy reading (or now watching). Whilst Gemma would argue that you should gain enjoyment from making the film or writing the book, I agree with my tutor. What is the point in making a film (or writing a book) that nobody is going to watch (or read)?

Ignore me, I'm having an off day ... if anyone's reading anyway :-(

Not one for celebrity nonsense, you have to give credit where it's due.

Enter ... Barry Norman's pickled onions, recommended to be by my Mum. I was sceptical, until I tried one. Bloody lovely, a recipe that has been in the Norman household for generations and it was only when a mate of Barry's popped round for tea (and an onion, like you do) and told him they were so good he ought to sell them that Barry cashed in. You can picture it now, Barry with a napkin tucked in his collar as he has one of his onions, vinegar dribbling down his chin, maybe a scotch egg chaser, when his mate pipes up, "F**KING HELL BAZZA! These onions are the dog's b*ll*cks. You ought to sell them me ol' son." I'm sure that's exactly how the conversation went.

Anyway, I like them so much I've eaten a jar already ... and been down to the local co-op to buy some more onions to dunk in Barry's vinegar. Nic nac noo!

Tomorrow sees the start of my two-day course "The Language of Film" at The Engine Shed in Edinburgh. It's a "lively and interactive course on visual storytelling and film technique" and is supported by 4Talent Scotland. I'm hoping the talent comes after you've done it rather than needing to talent to be on it ...

On the back of my experiences in New Zealand, I've signed up for the Edinburgh 48 Hour Film Project. It starts on Friday 16th May and the premise is the same as before ... genre, character, line of dialogue and a prop, oh, and 2 days to make a short film from scratch.

On the basis I haven't enough time/equipment to formulate my own team (and my leading lady is still doing her Masters), I've entered myself on the database in the hope that some other desperados will require my (limited) services. May God have mercy on their souls!

So that's it then! Part 2 of the scriptwriting course is over and it's time to hand in the assignment. Being the swotty brown-nose that I am (if only my school tutors could see me now) I'm hoping to hand mine in tomorrow. It hasn't got to be in until next Tuesday. Get me!

I'm still to think of a title for my 17 minute long script but it's roughly an adaption from the beginning of Digging Deeper (full length version up to 85 minutes to date ... but will need some cutting when I'm finished).

So yes, after a twist in the story and an added character, I finally got there. Hollywood, here I come (is it west from Falkirk? I think I should have taken the first left!)

Thought a few of you might be interested to find out about Word Power Books (http://www.word-power.co.uk/), an independent bookshop opened formally by Booker Prize-Winner James Kelman on 1 December 1994.

Instead of me waffling on, I'll let them do the talking ...

"Our world-wide online service is an alternative to corporate bookshops that refuse to allow their workers to join trade unions. Unlike Amazon, recipient of £1.6 million taxpayers' money from the Scottish Executive (The Bookseller, 28 May 2004), we receive no state funding.
While our site offers you access to all books in print in the UK we remain committed to promoting literature outwith the mainstream thereby making it more accessible and helping to support small presses and new writers. We also provide Platform, a regular column for groups, campaigns or individuals to post articles and foster debate, and a Noticeboard where you can post information and details of events."

I think my previous blogs have made my views fairly clear on the subject of corporate bookshops. I don't think I need to add any more, suffice to say if you're going to buy a book, check out http://www.word-power.co.uk/

So this is Burns Night in Scotland then? I spent it sat on my own with a plate and fish and chips ... or a fish supper as it's known up here. Going to the chippy tonight was an education though, haggis suppers available (well they're always available to be fair) but I've never seen wee Jimmy fritters advertised before, complete with broon sauce.

Week 2 of the script writing last Wednesday. Interesting stuff although I can't help feeling a tinge of stupidity having revealed last week that I thought I'd give script writing a go because people had always commented how good the dialogue in my books was. This week the tutor revealed that film scripts was nothing to do with dialogue and everything to do with what you saw, not what people said. So then I came home and continued reading my book containing a series of interviews with Alfred Hitchcock who had this to say about the end of the silent film era (before going on to talk about his first "talkie", Blackmail).

"The silent pictures were the purest form of cinema ... since all that was missing was natural sound, there was no need to go to the other extreme and completely abandon the technique of the pure motion picture, the way they did when sound came in.

In many of the films now being made there is very little cinema: they are mostly what I call 'photographs of people talking.' When we tell a story in cinema, we should resort to dialogue only when it's impossible to do otherwise. In writing a screenplay it's essential to separate clearly the dialogue from the visual elements and, whenever possible, to rely more on the visual then the dialogue."

So there you have it ... so much for my "brilliant" dialogue. Humph!

Oh, and to find out what I should have been doing instead of eating fish and chips on me tod ... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burns_supper

I should probably also mention an amazing thing that happened over Christmas ... I got engaged, but that's not the amazing thing, the amazing thing how a new pair of glasses and haircut has transformed my fiancee into Mel Perkins (the gay one from Mel & Sue).

I also recorded 2 pages of notes during the build up to the engagement of things people did or said to (unbeknown to them) put spanners in the works of my plans. Good idea for a book. You have funny wedding stories so why not engagement ones? So if you have any, get in touch because I think we could be onto something.

A belated Happy New Year to one and all. The break went all too quickly ... and now it's back to earth with a bump. I've started the script writing course at Edinburgh Uni and the class appears to boast a wide spectrum of students. Enjoyed the first week although we've already been given homework to read up about Aristotle's Poetics. Might sound complicated but then I was already three quarters through a book on the subject before I started the course, so no drama (or as Aristotle might say, "tradegy")

I should explain that this picture has been added to the blog because I keep getting badgered to do so.

I have the pleasure of working with these people (in my normal day job) and they wanted to show their support by having their pictures taken with the books.

In reality, whilst Iain has read the first 2, Laurette has been on about page 13 of Digging Deeper since last November which is not quite the advert for the "real page turner" I'd hoped, but there you have it.

Not much to report except that the Digging Deeper film script is now 40 mins long and for fans of Worlds Apart (or just plain old generally nosey people) the first leg of the world tour video is now available on myspacetv ...

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=22826932

Not really a picture to go with this, so one of me looking slightly menacing was the best I can come up with. suffice to say the film adaptation of Digging Deeper is coming along nicely. The first 25 mins are now written and I'm very pleased with it so far.

Although I have all the images in my head regarding what the scenes look like, the main problem is linking the scenes, when to cut from one to another and how to write the script so that narrative in the text or the background story can be portrayed in pictures.

All interesting stuff though. Anyone for the part of Charlotte?

KIDERMINSTER SHUTTLE : Thursday 8th November 2007

Novelist keen to help other budding authors
By Cadisha Brown

A KIDDERMINSTER-born author has set up a publishing firm to help other budding writers get their work in print.
Lee Crompton, who lived in Woodfield Crescent until he was six, created Positive Publishing in the hope of removing the barriers he encountered while trying to get into print.
He said: "As a self-published author, I know how hard it is to get a manuscript from a Word document to a finished paperback. I also know how much of a buzz it is to finally hold your novel in your hand.
"The idea came about when a friend wanted advice about producing a book. He asked me a series of questions about formatting, designing covers, obtaining barcodes, listing books on Amazon and getting books printed and my response was yes, I can do all that.

"I'd like to assist people in getting their books out without the extortionate costs. If I can help give someone that buzz of excitement from being in print then that's fantastic."

Lee has also released his latest novel, a thriller titled Digging Deep, which is a change in direction from his previous novels, 12 Months and Worlds Apart, which were recognised for their humorous storylines.

He added: "Humour is certainly thin on the ground when it comes to Digging Deeper and while it has its moments, it definitely has some very dark elements."

Lee already has plans for his next project. While in Wellington in 2004, he was involved in the writing and production of a short film for the New Zealand 48-hour film festival and now plans to write his first feature-length script.

"Writing has always been a visual thing for me. I know how every one of my books would look on the silver screen because of the images in my head when I'm scribbling down the text.

"People always comment on the fast-paced dialogue in my books and how they enjoy it and so writing a script seemed to be the next step."

Only 3 days to go until "wear it pink" day. For those of you who don't know it's a Breast Cancer Campaign asking everyone in the UK to wear it pink on Friday 26 October and donate £2 each, so the Charity can continue researching the cure for breast cancer.

They're holding a raffle in the office and so I've donated a signed book for one of the lucky winners. Digging Deeper might not be entirely appropriate charity reading material but I considered it close enough to Halloween to be considered as a prize.

To find out more regarding "wear it pink" visit http://www.wearitpink.co.uk/

The best holiday read this year? Possibly, but I guess it depends on your constitution. I'm not saying it's not a good holiday book but I'm sure reading it in the blazing sun around the pool doesn't quite have the same effect as reading it in a cold and dark environment ... like Scotland for example. Here is an extract from a message I had regarding Digging Deeper. I have had to censor it on the basis of foul language and giving away the ending ...

"You should take this as a compliment - as I definitely invested in the characters - but Jesus, you are a sick weirdo. I spent two hours last night reading Digging Deeper because i couldn't put it down, therefore i didn't finish it till twenty five to one this morning and haven't slept since ... I have never actually felt physically sick whilst reading a book. Lee, where the hell did you get this stuff from? I'm totally traumatised, I can't stop thinking about it. p.s I'm also now slightly scared of you!

Another satisfied customer.

In preparation for my next venture I have enrolled in a screenwriting course at Edinburgh University. It doesn't start until Jan 08 which will give me plenty of time to do some of my own research and develop my proposed story.

I've changed the working title of the "film" but am going to keep that under wraps for now although I'm not sure knowing the title will give too much of the story away, unless you're aware of the previous working title and then some bright spark might put 2 & 2 together and hey presto! No one likes a smart arse ... says he who is going back to university ... for the first time in over 15 years (gulp!)