www.leecrompton.com
Everyday drivel from author, Lee Crompton
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
Monday, May 31, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
SPOILER ALERT! Don't read this if you still haven't watched the final episode of LOST.
It's time for another rant I'm afraid as I find myself cheated by the ending of my favourite TV show and the fact that Gemma feels the need to justify it.
Since 2004, like many people, I have been invested in the story of the mysterious island. The 6 series have been brilliantly confusing and left you wanting more. We've had flashbacks, flash forwards and now we discover, at the 11th hour that the the flash sideways were ... wait for it ... purgatory. We'll there's a surprise, if for no other reason that there was a huge belief after series one that the island was purgatory. It's as if the writers have gone, "Oh, that's buggered that up, we've been rumbled ... I know, we'll introduce a flash sideways ... in the very last series ... and make that purgatory. That'll fox 'em". And so it did.
Gemma accuses me of not being to suspend belief, something I happen to think I'm very good at, especially with LOST (the polar bears, time travel, immortality, need i go on) but this flash sideways lark is a complete get out. So they're in purgatory, right? I get that, but they can't remember each other ... OK, bit weird but I'll run with it. Oh no, hang on, Jin and Sun can remember each other, but can't remember anyone else, or little things like, oh i dunno, how to speak English? So they both drowned together, died ... arrived in Purgatoryland, and what were they doing then? Watching TV, wondering why they couldn't speak English any more. It's then explained that they didn't all die at the same time ... but baby Aaron must have done, cus he's still a baby and the others or still the same age as when they were on the island. Imagine Sawyer, dying at 70 only to arrive in purgatory the same age as he was when he was on the island. He might think that was just a little bit odd, but then again, maybe not, and decides just to be a cop instead. Lapidus is on the plane so I guess he won't be in purgatory with the others ... oh, but Miles is? John Locke dies and he can walk but then arrives in purgatory and is in a wheelchair again? Would he not have thought something weird was going on? Juliet falls down a well and dies, wakes up in purgatory to find she's a nurse in the same hospital as Jack ... not only that, married to him??!?! At the limits of my belief suspension I could perhaps con myself into believing all this was going on if they knew they were in purgatory and just getting on with this but that's just it, the whole 6th series is hinged around the fact that they are remembering stuff from when they were alive, remaking connections and wait for it ... don't actually know they're dead. Unbelievable! It's a total farce. I could go on but it's making me mad just writing this stuff. Utter TOSH!
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Challenge Ride - 51 Miles - Glasgow to Edinburgh
This time I'll be raising money for "Beating Bowel Cancer" and at the same time supporting Maggie's Cancer Care Centres, to which the entrance fee is donated.
So apart from not having done any cycling for 2 decades and taking part on a mountain bike older than the average age of the cast of Glee, pedalling about on cycle paths for the equivalent distance of Bournemouth to Portsmouth should be a doddle.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
TEST RUN 1 - Aim 10 miles
Conditions - drizzle, mild wind (oh and gears kept jumping from one to another ... v.offputing)
Achieved - 6.35 miles
Time - 37 mins
Av. Speed - 10.3 mph
Comments - Not particually happy with the outcome, but we've all got to start somewhere my ol' muckers and on the plus side, I didn't split my shorts and my cycle helmet fits!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
"Now through February 7th, 2010, or until we've received 5,000 entries in each category, you can enter your unpublished or self-published English-language novel into the General Fiction category, or the new Young Adult Fiction category. The contest will then proceed through four phases of judging:
Review the Official Contest Rules and watch our video tutorials for instructions on preparing and submitting your entry."
Saturday, October 03, 2009
This, ladies and gentlemen, is Fiona Smith ... yes, the Fiona Smith.
Doesn't ring any bells? Well listen here. I'm about to give you the heads up because the aforementioned Fiona is the Editor of Shortbread Stories, a website specifically designed to be a showcase for writers, making their short stories available to a worldwide audience. What's more they're aiming to be the largest website of their kind ... in the world ... ever!
So whether you fancy a read or would like to upload your short stories to the website, why not take a look and see what you've been missing before Shortbread Stories explodes across the globe like some literary custard that's been left in the microwave too long and you turn into one of those sad losers who jumps on the passing band wagon, trying to barge your way to the microwave in the back of the wagon to try and lick up some of ... the, errm, custard. Oh, forget it. Just take a look at the damn site.
Friday, October 02, 2009
Minor rant, but does everyone know what a courgette looks like?
If you do I wouldn't suggest you apply for a job at the Co-op supermarket, at least not at my local store, where it would appear a prerequisite of being awarded the job is that you display a very limited knowledge of common vegetables.
Now, speaking as man who used to work at a supermarket in his student days, I am all too aware that larger supermarkets sometimes stock some unusual vegetables which are difficult to recognise. Two things ... firstly there is nothing in my local Co-op more exotic than a banana (I fully appreciate this isn't a vegetable but you get the idea) and secondly, is a courgette really too difficult to recognise? I can appreciate that a yam might be difficult to distinguish from a sweet potato. My particular failing was more within the fruit kingdom, Kumquats, pomegranates and greengages but we were tested on these by our supervisors so that we wouldn't need to stare blankly at customers with our mouths wide open whilst holding their plums (sorry, couldn't resist).
Anyway, we meandered our way through the remaining contents of my shopping basket ... Red Bull, milk, we even managed to stumble our way through the carrots and broccoli, but then the blank expression descended over Jamie's (I read the name badge) face once more. He looked at me, held up the last remaining bag of vegetables and cocked his head to one side. In my head I was screaming, "For God's sakes, it's a couple of f**king parsnips, Jamie," but I smiled and informed him in a much more polite manner.
I have nothing to say in Jamie's defense. The bag was clear, the parsnips not discoloured or misshapen in any way that might suggest that they were anything else other than ... f**king parsnips.
I'm afraid this entry isn't going anywhere, other than to ask, does anybody else not know what a parsnip (or a courgette) looks like? I'm going now as I appreciate I'm beginning to sound rather pompous.
Friday, August 21, 2009
And so probably the last of my reports from the Edinburgh Festival, with the 3 final shows to go.
Something a little more highbrow for Mum. A play called "Orphans". My review? Quite enjoyed it for someone who thought they weren't keen on theatre, ending a bit strange and they used the "c" word more times than the comedy show we'd seen earlier in the week. 8/10
I can't even remember the name of the 2nd show. Gemma wanted to see it and it was ok (at best). Something to do with "Craig still watches Neighbours" and was about a bloke who still watches Neighbours and included him playing clips from Neighbours and making averagely funny remarks about them ... along with some other VERY random bits chucked in 6/10.
And then, we saved the best until last ... Tom Wrigglesworth. It's ultimately a show about a particularly eventful train journey he had from Manchester to London with Virgin but it's a must see, very funny and he seems like a really top bloke (who really likes Vimto ... I know that because I was chatting to him at the bar before the gig ... about Vimto ... although at that stage I didn't have a clue who he was)
So a big fat 9/10 for Tom. A fitting way to end our festival fun for another year!
Will keep you posted.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Now, with Mum up for the festival over the weekend, what better way to play it safe than take her to a couple of safe shows before the even safer banker of the Edinburgh Tattoo.
Friday saw us start our schedule with a nice and safe lunchtime "best of the fest" in which you get a 10 min taste of 4 top comedians from the festival ... only one of which I've heard of. First up was Justin Moorhouse (the guy from Phoenix Nights) who was very good and I'll give a 7/10. He was followed by a not quite as funny Irish fella (is it worth giving him a rating if I can't remember his name? 6/10). Then came a very short "comedian" who wasn't very funny at all (but not as bad as Vladimir McTavish, so a 4/10) and then a very good, but very rude New Zealand comic who used the "c" word 5 times during his 10 minutes, which sent me into regular sideways glances to see how Mum was reacting to her Edinburgh experience. Anyway, this guy was supposed to be New Zealand's top comic ... although having done a google image search, I can't find any trace of him. Anyway, he'd be a 7/10 but downgrading him to a 6.5 for saying the "c" word a lot ... in front of my mum ... at a lunchtime show ... and for being fairly intimidating.
So, with nothing else to see until the Tattoo and the rain beating down, we decided to take shelter in the form of a wild card option ... Early Long Island Iced Tea which is directed by Mel Smith (yes, as in Smith and Jones) and I therefore thought it might be mildly funny. Didn't know if it was a play, musical or whatever, but it was certainly full of people more my Mum's age. It was an hour of caberet singing, and hour of caberet singing by an old queen (with a cracking voice it has to be said) singing old songs in an overly dramatic way. To add insult to injury, there were a few attempts at comical interludes which fell flat on their faces (unless you were of a certain age) which I presume were the inventions of Mr Smith. I was ready to cut my own ears off by the end of the hour. Mum seemed to enjoy it however.
Then onto the Tattoo. What a spectacle, not even dampened by having to sit in the heavy rain with my hood up and a bin liner over my legs. All in the name of "festival" my friends, all in the name of "festival".