Following my last post I have nothing to report other than the "Making of Pinstripe" out-takes have been posted on YouTube and I'm fit and well after my annual colonoscopy.

Flew down to Bournemouth this morning to see my Mum (and watch Bournemouth v Spurs) and was amazed how much crap Ryanair can peddle in a one hour flight. Maybe I just noticed it more because we were on an early morning flight (not helped with not getting to sleep until 1.30am cus Gemma was finishing her article and then were up at 5.30am to get our flight) but, bloody hell, I was ready to wrestle the intercom off them and rip it out of the wall.

First of all we had the usual safety briefing, which I heard but didn't watch due to the fact I was trying to get some well needed kip. Then once the seatbelt lights had been turned off and I was just nodding nicely off to sleep we get the announcement over the tannoy that the cabin crew will be mincing up and down the aisle with the menu cards and went on to describe the majority of the items on the bloody menu (I recall frothy cappuccino, panninis etc etc). So up and down the aisle they mince asking every 2nd person, "menu cards? menu cards?" Once that was all over I settled my head on my hand once more in order to get some rest only for the tannoy to strike up again to announce that the cabin crew would now be circulating through the cabin with the inflight magazine which had a list of an exciting array of duty free items in the back. So up and down they strode again "In flight magazine? In flight magazine?" You expect these things when you go on a flight to a certain extent but it just went on and on ... and on. We were asked if we wanted to purchase Ryanair scratch cards with the chance to win thousands of fantastic prizes including a car and flight vouchers, Ryanair phone cards which could be used all over Europe or as a top to you mobile with a low call charge of only 6 cents per minute, we then had the tea trolley offering the delights from the menu (twice), and then a selection of perfumes from the duty free ... all announced on the tannoy and all involving the cabin crew mincing up and down the aisle trying to peddle their wares on a captive, albeit half-asleep audience.

I make that 7 times up and down the aisle (10 if you include 1 x collecting the menu cards, 1 x collecting the in-flight magazine and 1 x collecting the rubbish) which when you consider the flight is an hour and it's 15 mins before the seatbelt light goes off and 15mins before landing it comes back on again, that's somebody up and down the aisle ... and a bloody announcement every 3 to 5 minutes.

Further insult to injury is inflicted with the proficiency of the announcements. I'm all for foreigners practising their English but I wish they wouldn't do it (a) on a public address system, (b) when I'm trying to get some sleep and (c) when I have no-where to escape to.

So no Ryanair, I don't want any of your perfume however cheap, or coffee however expensive or any other crap that you might want to try and fob onto me whilst I'm at your mercy.

So I've now arrived in Poole having missed the hourly courtesy bus from the airport by 5 minutes and having to pay £25 for a taxi.