After a 10 hour round trip, I'm now back in Scotland following my trip to Worcester for the book signing. I'd like to say a big thanks to everyone at Ottakar's along with all of you who turned out to support me ... and the people at the cracking Cornish pie shop up the High Street ... I was starving by the time I'd finished.

My response to the Guardian article ... much of which you've heard before.

Dear Sirs

I've just read Victor Keegan's article 'click, download, publish' dated 2nd March 2006 and feel I should vent my frustrations.

The article sings the praises of the 'print on demand' revolution which indeed has its merits but is certainly not the all-singing, all-dancing answer to unpublished authors as both the article and the 'print-on-demand' publishers would have you believe.

I’m a self-published author with two titles in print. It’s been a steep learning curve. Writing the books was the easy part. The remainder of the process has also fallen to me, including proof reading, editing, cover design, sourcing ISBN’s, finding a printer, designing my website, getting the book registered with High Street shops and toughest of all, marketing. I’m up against the might of the large publishing houses with many of them now deciding not to accept unsolicited manuscripts. The answer - so I’m told - is to get an agent but with agents receiving an average of 200 submissions a week and taking on maybe 3 or 4 new clients a year, the odds are clearly stacked against you. It’s also frustrating that many of these positions appear to be filled by the ‘celebrity’ author, many of which employ ghost-writers. Whilst I have nothing against autobiographies in general, when you hear that the likes of Jade Goody and Wayne Rooney are being paid millions of pounds for their autobiographies, it does make me wonder where this leaves the future of literature when there is clearly a wealth of undiscovered material which never see the light of day, partially due to societies obsession with celebrities. At the end of the day, the publishing houses know these will sell.

So is going to a print-on-demand publisher the answer? Many have cropped up recently, all promising to get your book on the High Street shelves. This of course comes at a cost, sometimes in the realms of thousands of pounds. This in itself can put an author off, but what I find worrying is that desperation to see your work in print might tempt some people to part with their hard earned cash.

Here is an extract from Trafford's website:

'For example, the cost of a 160-page paperback book with a colour cover on our print shop price list is £3.94 for a quantity of one. If you set the retail price of such a book at £9.99 (minimum retail price for this book would be £8.27), our bookshop processes the customer's credit card for the full amount, and deducts £2.50 for its services (25% of the retail price). Net sale amount is £7.49. The gross margin would be the net sale amount of £7.49 less the single-copy print cost of £3.94, in other words, £3.55.
In this example, you would receive a royalty of £2.13 per book (£3.55 x 60%). That's almost 30% of the net sale amount

All looks very nice on paper but in reality, this is a load of rubbish. What Trafford fail to point out is that

a) High Street bookshops want at least 35% off the RRP which equates the same amount as the gross margin. But hang about, having charged you nearly £1000 to get to this stage along with £2.50 per book for it's 'services' they then want another 40% of what's left.

b) The example they give estimates the RRP to be £9.99 which as I've already pointed out, already makes you a loss. Ignoring that, even if you weren't losing money, who is going to buy a 160 page book at £9.99 from an unknown author when standard paperbacks by household names are twice as thick and three quid cheaper?

Trafford aren't alone. There are lots of 'print-on-demand' publishers who offer much the same services for much the same prices. As you can see from their calculations above, for someone who is desperate to see their work in print, it can look a tempting option. It's what 'print-on-demand' publsihers fail to tell you which is worrying.

I published my first book through Lulu, another company mentioned in your article. I basically chose them because they didn't charge an upfront fee of hundreds/thousands of pounds. At the time, the shipping from the States was as much as the cost of the book. It was working out about £8 per copy. As you'll realise from my points above, I didn't get too far with it.

The other alternative is to get in touch with a local printer. The problem with this is print runs tend to be a minimum of 1000 copies for anything from £2500 to £3500. The issues are clear, a large capital outlay followed by storage issues, followed by the fact that you’re still unknown and the likelihood of shifting anywhere near half that kind of quantity is extremely remote.

The key of course is good marketing but being self-published, I’ve found many doors slammed in my face. I’ve tried to get involved with the Edinburgh Book Festival which I understand is one of the biggest in Europe. I was told they weren’t interested in self-published authors and the event was by invitation only. I’ve tried donating what small margin I have to charity in an attempt to help them and raise my own profile, but again you needn’t bother if you’ve not got a deal. UNICEF actually have a company policy to reject any proposal from self-published authors. I’ve even sent my book to celebrities in the hope they would give a one-line review to help with the publicity. You’re lucky to get a response at all and the ones who are good enough to reply are too busy. Like I mentioned before, designing my own website has been a good marketing tool but then I’m still relying on word of mouth from people who know me or folk I meet. If nobody knows your name, how is anyone else going to find you? Who types ‘books by new authors’ into Google in the hope of finding a novel by some new kid on the block? If you’re after a new book, you go to a bookshop or buy it from Amazon – both of which are bursting with authors you’ve already heard off - so why take the risk with an unknown which isn’t on the bestsellers or recommended list and is unlikely to be on prominent display?

So why do I bother? Having given up a lucrative job to follow my dream only to receive more rejection letters and an increasing number of obstacles, I sometimes ask myself the same question. Battling with the increasing self-doubt and wondering if it is purely the case my book is complete crap, I’ve somehow managed to get this far. The positive reviews and emails I receive keep me going but how long do you keep plugging away before enough is enough. How many other potential authors are struggling in the same way or have already given up? Quite a lot I would imagine, judging by the 200 submissions a week landing on the desk of any given agent in any given week. I once read a statistic that 95% of people who actually get around to writing a book never write a second. It’s easy to see why.

So where am I now? I’ve managed to source a printer in Scotland which allows me to make a small gross profit of maybe £1 per book once the High Street retailers have had their discount. In reality, the cost of doing my own distribution far out ways any profit. I’ve even managed to secure a couple of book signings in Ottakar’s which is a good way to get your name known, but the cost of travelling from Scotland to Worcester and Poole to sell a handful of books, whilst I’m very grateful to Ottakar’s for the opportunity, can sometimes seem futile. I then have to consider the alternative, to give up – now I’ve come this far – and let my books collect dust in the corner of the lounge. For the moment, I’m prepared to keep on fighting

I've cut and paste this article from the Guardian Unlimited. I shall be penning a response.

The Internet is allowing unsigned authors to publish books affordably, while keeping old titles alive, writes Victor Keegan. Thursday March 2, 2006
Everyone thought Amazon would kill off the second hand book trade. As it happens, bookshops around the world have found a new lease of life through the admirable abebooks.com, which links them together enabling readers to find a forgotten book gathering dust in a shop half way round the earth.
Now the internet is in the throes of giving another huge boost to books through a combination of self-publishing web sites, which are sprouting up all over the place, and the explosive potential of print-on-demand (POD).
Self-publishing enables anyone to upload a book in digital form to a website, which then formats it complete with a cover. It costs anything from £4.50 (single proof of one book) to more than £500 for full personalised involvement of the publishing house at all stages, from starting up to getting a link to Amazon.
Print on demand enables unsigned authors to publish their books without having to pay for the first 500 or 1,000 copies, as they are simply downloaded from a data base to be printed copy by copy as required. This is leading to an unexpected growth area - the re-publishing of out-of-print books going back for centuries. Whoever thought that the new technology of the internet would lead to a revival of one of the world's oldest industries?
After I had written a column about my own attempts to publish a book, I received invitations to visit two companies whose existence I had been unaware of. One claims to be the world's biggest print-on-demand company, while the other says it is one of the largest self-publishers. Both are subsidiaries of US firms and, curiously, both are based in Milton Keynes, where I went to visit one this week.
Two statistics spell out the potential: 50% of all published books with an ISBN (International Standard Book Number) tag sell fewer than 250 copies and barely more than 1% of manuscripts submitted ever get published. David Taylor, managing director of Lightning Source, says that his company expanded its POD activities by more than 60% in volume in 2005 and is expected to grow by 50% this year. Demand is coming from the likes of Amazon, Google, content aggregators that scan out-of-copyright books, self-publishers and traditional publishers. All are beginning to realise that there is an alternative to having large warehouses full of unsold books.
On the day I visited, Lightning printed several thousand books, mostly single copies for customers ranging from Cambridge University Press to individuals at a cost of 70p for a cover and 1p a page for a softback. Over the year they expect to print 1.4m books. POD is no good for printing Harry Potter because traditional economies of scale are not available, but it is profitable for all concerned when printing a single copy or batches of up to 750 copies.
"It turns the traditional economics of publishing on its head," says Taylor, who adds that self-publishing needs POD in order to succeed. He reckons that self-publishing is happening in the UK below the radar of the traditional UK publishing industry, but is still probably two or three years behind the US in terms of development probably because no single strong, well-resourced company has emerged.
The arrival of Amazon has added another dimension because self-publishing companies will organise a link to Amazon for an author's book so that when people search for a subject in a search engine such as Google, books related to that search appear in the results. Suddenly, authors have an automatic marketing strategy as well as access to cheap printing. As a result, digitisation is making more - not fewer - books available and facsimiles of any book ever published that still survives could be available to buy.
Self-publishing companies are offering all sorts of packages for the budding author. Lulu.com charges about £3.60 for the first proof copy, as long as you have done it on your own, complete with colour cover, after which you pay for add-ons. The likes of selfpublishing.co.uk (£495) and authorhouse.com (£525) offer a bespoke service with personal advice on publishing and design during the processing period and include obtaining ISBN numbers and other services.
Authorhouse claims to be the biggest self-publisher in the US by number of titles, printing and selling more than one million books a year. Patrick Dunnigan, the UK manager, says the business is based on personal attention and appears unconcerned by cheaper rivals.
The economics work roughly like this: a typical 108-page book measuring six by nine inches might have a basic price of £4 if sold from authorhouse's site. The price rises to £7.99 via Amazon, which takes half, leaving less for the author than selling through the authorhouse site after the publishing company takes its cut as well.
It is clear that both the POD and self-publishing industries will continue to enjoy very strong growth in the immediate years ahead. The only question is whether it will be, as looks likely, a boom enjoyed by US companies rather than British firms.

I should also express my gratitude to Jenny Prowse, British Kickboxing Champion, for sending in her photos. I've had a few emails from Jenny, telling me how much she enjoyed both books, especially Worlds Apart.

If you disagree with her, just post a comment on here, together with your name and address and I'll make sure she comes round and gives you a right good duffing!

I'm particularly looking forward to any future photos, should she decide to take up mud-wrestling. For both Jenny and my own sakes, I'll fail to mention how we met!

Back in Scotland now! In the last few days I've done a booksigning in Poole, become a Godfather in Plymouth and released my own merchandise haha! I don't expect anyone to buy it (other than me) but if i can promote myself whilst driving/walking around, it's got to be worth a go eh?

I'd like to say thanks to everyone at Ottakar's and those of you who turned up to the booksigning on Saturday, especially Matthew & Katie from bookcrossing.com. Enjoyed the chat Matt. Just hope you enjoy the books!

I've updated the website with a few bits and pieces. I'm even more determined to try and prove myself having looked at the Trafford 'print-on-demand' website to see what services they offer the unknown author. They want nearly a grand to design your cover, format your book and add an ISBN. But wait, you get 10 free copies included for that (whoopie!) and then copies of your book are only £4 (based on 160 pages). They go on to mention that if you're selling your book for £9.99, they take 25% and then the rest is your profit (minus the four quid). Sounds like a cracking deal until you actually think about it.

1) Worlds Apart is far more than 160 pages (294 in fact) so how much would that cost with trafford???
2) A RRP of £9.99 for a 160 page book is unattainable. Well, it's attainable, you just wouldn't sell any copies seeing as how all the rest of the books by well-known authors would be twice as long and about three quid cheaper.
3) They also fail to mention that if you're going to sell your book in the High Street, the bookshop will want a minimum of around 35% off the RRP for their own profit margins.

By my calculations, the profits from your 160 page £9.99 book - after you've given £2.50 to the nice people at the publishers for their 'services', £3.50 discount to the bookshop and another £4 to the nice people at the publishers for printing the thing in the first place - would be ... NOTHING! In fact, you'd lose a penny for every copy sold. In fact, having just read the website again, they also want 40% of the gross profit. I wouldn't worry too much about it though as you'd be very unlikely to sell any (please refer to point 2 above). Meanwhile, people like Trafford already have your £1000 whilst you struggle to get rid of more than the 10 FREE copies they kindly include within the package. Maybe it's just me, but £100/copy seems a bit steep! The worrying thing is, this kind of set-up is the norm, not the exception.

On to my own marketing woes. Whilst the rest of my friends are too busy settling down, getting married and having babies to help me in my quest, 'the phatom furry one' has offered his services once more. He won't rest until I've conquered the world of self-publishing and so this weekend, he'll be dropping promtional flyers in secret locations around the UK (probably just in his cul-de-sac to be fair). That's a joke James, I have every faith, but if you see the flash of blue cape clutching a handful of leaflets promoting my book, be sure to shout, 'oye, you hairy git, haven't you finished yet?' He'll like that.

OVER & OUT

Just a quick update ... the revised copies of 12 Months finally turned up on Monday.

Both books are now stocked at Ottakar's Falkirk, Dorchester & Poole. After a 10 hour drive I'm now on the South Coast of England, ready for the book signing in Poole on Saturday. I've had an email tonight to say that I was on page 8 of the Bromsgrove Advertiser and we shall be stopping off at Ottakar's in Bromsgrove & Worcester on our way back up.

I've had a complaint ... my friend Claire stated during a BBQ last night (yes, it was even warm enough in Scotland for one) that I don't write enough on the blog, and when I do, she doesn't want to know about my fireplace. I took heart from this though seeing as how it proves at least one other person actually reads the damn thing.
In truth, I'm find writing this blog quite hard in my current position (handstands & typing are never very compatible). There's a certain amount of PC required i feel, or maybe I'm just a bit of a wimp, but there's more bad than good to report and to vent my frustrations might come across in the wrong way. Am I furious that my printers have let me down again and failed to deliver the books which i specifically requested for a book signing this weekend even though I rang and double checked well in advance that everything was OK? Yes, I'm f**king raging. What is the point of me doing my upmost to arrange book signings, sending out press releases and getting the local newspapers involved if I haven't got any f**king books? But, should i share this and risk upsetting the printers who know I'm struggling to get anyone else to do it at the same price and quality? Should I reveal the name of the reporter I called a wanker after he aimed the first 10 minutes an interview to question my affinity with the area where I was born? Should I vent my frustration that hardly any press releases are ever responded to? Or that certain book stores react as if I'm asking if it would be possible to cut off their right leg as opposed to stock five books ... or moan about the amount of discount when it seems to be OK for the rest of the branches and I'm barely breaking even anyway?
Probably not! For in my current delicate position, I need all these people on my side ... the newspapers, the printers, the radio stations, the book shops and after all the hard work of getting to this point, why run the risk of spoiling it?
By the way, Claire was responsible for the banana eating episode in Worlds Apart ... so I shouldn't listen to too much she has to say ... (I'm joking Claire so don't do one of your glares!)

Some great news ... Worlds Apart will finally hit the shops. Not only will it be available in the Poole Branch of Ottakar's from July 22nd, I have been invited to do a book signing to launch it. It's been announced in the local press and a photographer from the Bournemouth Echo will be covering the event. Hoping to meet up with a few mates in the pub beforehand. I feel I might need a wee dram or two.

Not only that, I've been in touch with other stores who are interested in taking the books on. Summary as follows:

Ottakar's Poole - BOOK SIGNING 22nd July (noon until 2pm)
Ottakar's Worcester - BOOK SIGNING 29th July (noon until 2pm)
Ottakar's Falkirk - Books will be available from early next month
Also currently in discussions with the Bromsgrove & Dorchester branches and Borders have shown an interest to stock the books later this year.

Hopefully this is just the beginning ...

By pure accident, I've managed to track down Lee Sharpe. He's doing a World Cup blog on Yahoo. I have of course emailed him and asked if he ever got a copy of my book via Simon Clifford. It'll be interesting to see if I get a response.

A few other celebs are on my hit-list. Currently Dave Gorman is the only one to reply and I've sent him a book on the off chance he has the time to read it.

Might have to go to the printers this afternoon as I'm still waiting for the proof of the revised 12 months. The cover PDF file is too big to email apparently!

Sweden match today ... haven't seen any Swedish flags flapping in the Scottish breeze yet but I'm sure it's only a matter of time. Will be watching the match more keenly than normal as my little cousin won a trip to the game and will be a mascot for England. She gets to line up for England in a match against the Swedish mascots before kick-off. I just hope she gets to walk on the pitch with any player other than Owen Hargreaves who's been rumoured to be in the starting line-up.

Anyways ... the reason for the blog. I had a very weird dream last night. I was on a runaway train to Norwich (no idea why but may have been subliminly Alan Partirdge-esque) and there was nobody in my carraige other than Jimmy Tarbuck, Bernie Clifton and the woman from Coronation St (played Mrs Popoff in Rentaghost). None of them would read/review my book which is maybe an omen as I thought dreams were supposed to mean the opposite ... so maybe I should hunt them down and ask them the question!

I've also asked the local newsagent (I go in every day for fags, milk and the like) if they would stock my book but their English isn't too good and I think they thought I wanted to buy the copy i'd brought in with me or know whether they stocked anything similar i could read. I left with just me fags and milk!

Things not going so well at the moment. I've emailed a few branches of Ottaker's and only my local one in Falkirk has responded although they haven't agreed to stock it as of yet. No word either from the head buyer at Ottacker's ... or Paul Daniels ... or the Sydney Bridge climb (in search of Todd from Neighbours).

I have another couple of ideas in mind though ... I refuse to be beaten that easily ... and my mate James has agreed to do leaflet drops in Ripon. He's nice like that!

As for the decorating ...

1) I picked up a new cheap and cheerful bathroom suite on Friday only to have to take the sink back on Saturday as it only had a hole for one tap when I'd ordered two.

2) Although having rung the couriers to make sure my consignment of taps and shower and towel rail were being delivered ... they never turned up.

3) The new fireplace arrived from Argos ... only to find the back panel was pre-cut for a fire whereas we want to make a feature out of it.

On a completely different tangent, I feel I want to get off my chest ... being an England fan in Scotland ain't much fun. I'm saying no more than that!

I shall finish on a positive though. The re-vamped 12 months is now edited into the new format and will be emailed to the printers in the morning. That way, if bookshops DO decide to stock my books I won't have a spanking shiny WORLDS APART sat next to a wafer thin 12 MONTHS with miniscule print. They'll be two bloody great spankers and no mistake.

Good times!

For the largest book festival in the world which just happens to be on my doorstep, you'd have thought the Edinburgh scene would have been more accomodating to new authors. Apparently not. I've been politely emailed to say it's by invitation only. Yet another avenue well and truly concreted up.
Inspired by someone who reviewed my book, I have now taken on the task of tracking down Kristian Schmidt (Todd from Neighbours) to see if he would be kind enough to review Worlds Apart. For those of you who have read the book, you will understand why this is relevent and not just some random act of stalking. For those of you who have asked, yes I have met him in real life and he's a very funny guy ... a dry sense of humour which I feel was shackled by the Neighbours scriptwriters. In the words of Mr T ... CRAZY FOOLS!

Following my recognition of the weekend's TV schedule, I can begin to understand why reviewing/helping with my book becomes low on the priority list.

Paul Daniels (& Debbie) have clearly been very busy readying themselves for celebrity X-factor. Having been voted out on the first night however, maybe he'll now have time to read Worlds Apart.

Meanwhile, Robbie Williams is hoping to raise £1 million smackers from the England vs The rest of the World charity football match. 72,000 people turned up to Old Trafford to watch the likes of Maradona, Zola, Paul Gascoigne ... and Alistair Campbell. No wonder UNICEF aren't overly interested in endorsing a book by a writer nobody has heard of. What DOES annoy me however is what CAN be done with a relatively small donation. We were repeatedly told £5 would supply mozzy nets lasting 8 years, or feed an entire village for a week. Every little helps apparently! Unless you're a self-published author, in which case ... you can keep your stinking money!

The latest edition of 12 months is just about ready to go to the printers.
Sent an email to the organisers of the Edinburgh Book Festival to see if/how I can get involved. Although only in the very early stages, I'm considering putting a sample of my latest idea for a book on the website. If I do, and if you read it ... let me know what you think.

Still no word from Mr Daniels although there's a possibility that author Deric Longden may review a copy of 12 Months.

This is more of an experiment than anything. I'm not sure my life is interesting enough ...

a) to write about on a regular basis
b) people would actually want to read it

As it stands at the moment, 12 Months is still to be re-vamped, overhauled and sent to the printers. Until I get around to getting it finalised, I can't approach High Street shops because they're going to want both books (hopefully). I've sent a copy of Worlds Apart to the head buyer of Ottacker's in Salisbury in the hope I can get on their 'approved list' and have also asked Paul Daniels (again!) if he would review my book. No word as yet!

2nd overseas book order today (I don't count Enrique in Venezuala because he didn't pay for it). This one's going to Western Australia, last one went to the East coast.

In the meantime, 12 months will have to wait ... I'm about to beat the fireplace out!

Om Shanti!